Mermaid hair and non fat pie and jessica simpson

So basically im in a little less hateful mood today so i thought i would share (most people already know!) how to get kick ass mermaid hair like that banging chick in mamma mia, i love that movie and i have no life.

Go out and buy a 3 barrel jumbo waver its like 20 bucks if you cant afford it crawl in a hole and eat your hand. For those of you who can ill continue. Also get moose, i like herbal essances cos it smells yum. Okay wash your hair put moose in then blow dry it or let it air dry watever dont care. Then curl it simple as that:) Im so helpful. This is what it will look like if your not retarded:
haha just playing that looks hard but do your best!

Now i will tell you how to make a really LOW fat pie sorry i lied a little. Okay get a reduced fat pie crust like watever size. Put loads of non fat frozen yoghurt in it like choc and vanil and mix it together then put it in the crusty. Then freeze for two hours. Then put non fat cool whip on top. YUM i make it all the time its so good. ALso if you live in cali go to trader joes and get and make the non fat brownie mix its yum in the tum. okay enough diet tips

something occured to me that i realised i hated. jessica simpson no im not jelous thats gay shes white trash. I hate her because shes weird and she suddenly gets this southern boyfriend and all of a sudden shes BBQ barbie and a new country star! Also she said she makes a dutch oven in her sheets in front f her boyfriend, um im pretty sure he'll be calling carrie underwood up any second. She has a dumb voice, she has never gotten the hint that every song/album/movie/relationship she has made have all been failures and embarassments so she should go crawl in the hole with the poor people i mentioned earlier and make a dutch oven for them.


that is all

xxx

Why do people get mad over skinny celebrities?

Okay this has been bugging me for a while now and i figured it would be a good idea to let it all out. First of all before you judge im not some chubster sitting at home eating my feelings and jelous, well actually jelous sometimes im ashamed to say but not in the way you may think.... im not making sense let me explain myself. So i have always been confused why people are so shocked that stars get seriously skinny!!!! Honestly think about it, in a world that says mischa barton is the queen of cellulite and having the most succesful lusted after women being women such as angelina jolie etc? WHy the fuck do you think they have being skinny a top priority?!!!! Being an actress singer wtvr In the public eye basically is their work and when it relies (and you know it) on looking good (no offense to porkers out there, but when did someone put front page raven symone was hot stuff?) Therefore a big part of being skinny is having a hot bod so its not fair to claim stars should think of young girls and consider themselves as role models. Because theyre only famous to some degree because theyr insanly selfish and self absorbed and determined to make it to the top and being thin and in shape requires that!!! Regular people cant rely on drugs to substitute food cos um THEY HAVE TO FUNCTION! but stars can be fucked and still get paid. Its their job to look good and honestly if stars' weight wasnt fluctuating what would magazines like star and us put on their front cover each week, it would just be stars pumping out more and more brats, WHo gives a fuck all babaies look the same. So if your reading this and your shocked that 'omg i cant believe how skinny mary kate is!!!' okay now maybe you realise shes like a baziliionaire, all you see her doing is smoking avoiding lighting the hair draped in front of her face like samara on fire.I swear, sometimes it makes you feel better seeing like donatella versace's saggy ass boobs but other than that, please no headlines like ' it was so sudden, family in shock' because everyone is just so DAMN absorbed in themselves they only sell that shit when they think they can get a cut. OKAY daily rant for the day done.


until i hate someone else

xxxx

ps. Check out hayden panetierres new music vid and pretty soon we will all be thinking pierce brosnan will sign a record label any second!

I seriously hate everything

I dont even think i spelt procrastination right but there you go. OKay second blog thing. I have a serious problem i thought i should address, i have shitloads of summer homework and havent done ANYTHING. I shal list everything so maybe if you have crap to do you can feel better about yourself.

1. Read two gay ass books and write shit about them
2. Sx chapters of US HIstory and about a zillion questions following (being from the uk i cant even bullshit my way through it bcus i have no idea!)
3. 12 hour art painting on my english bulldog Olive in like rave colours, (it would be seriously kick ass if i actually did it)
4. Go to a art museum and spend 2 hours sketching zzzzzzzzzzz
5. pre-calc packet shoot me in the eye

Well there you have it im going to scream dont ask me what ive done because its dismal and i go back on sept 2nd so im going to die a lowly death, ill probably put that off as well!!! i thought that was funny but probably was dumb. I have another problem, i missed 'The secret life of the american teenager' you know that show where the preying mantis girl with the huge bangs gets pregnant! yes that one i missed it and i know i mentioned how i hate pointless shows but im pretty into it and who doesnt love a knocked up 15yr old engaged to the sausage kings son?!?!! Have no idea what im talking about? Watch it bitches or just laugh and ignore me. I have tried to upload a picture but it doesnt work i think my face corrupted the comp, maybe ill upload a picture of the pregnant girl on that show and say its me!


SO as you can see ive had a really hard day and whats worse was i had too fillings not because i eat treats all the time but becausee... i have grooves in my teeth. believe me dont i dont care. Im trying really haard to find something online to buy but everything is crappy and even im thinking its getting to be a waste of time hence why i am so bloggalicoious atm! :) im gay. I wish i had an asians metabolism because theres a cheesecake downstairs and i want to put it in my mouth.



top 10 things that annoy me and i think are lame

10. Awkward teenage girls with like ankle swingers, frizzy hair and hairy legs. TRY FOR GODS SAKE. But O yes ive been there, except without the ankle swingers and at age 10
9. People who dont hear you the first time and shout in your eat "WHAT?!" like demonstarting the volume you need to speak in so their air filled head can understand you
8. People who say shit in another language about you in front of you (asians at red lobster, yeh i showed them)
7. Guys who bitch about you, could it get lamer? they have nothing to be jelous of!
6. Girls who hit on an OBVIOUSLY taken guy and then claim their just being friends and you need to calm down (O sorry because 'i want to rub my boobs in your face' is the step before you make friendship braclets)
5. People who get the furthest in Americas got talent are singers!!! thats what american idol is for, wow i watch shitty television
4. Friends who expect you to put their needs before your own
3. When spidrs build their webs at night and you walk out your front door and run into it and have to find the spider whos web you just fucked up before it crawls into you mouth while you scream
2. The girl on the wendys advert
1. Girls who have realised they are unattractive so they try to compete with the nice girls by being slutty and corrupting every nice guy out there so all thats left are horny std riddin pervs

okay ive gotten myself all worked up. I hope someone reads this and comments on how i need to start being nice and get a life. Until i have nothing better to do


xxx

First Blog-I Know i have no life and this is gay

First of all, If anyone is offended by me using the word 'gay' as a replacement for (retarded,lame,dumb,stupid etc) get over it or get lost i use it all the time. Now if your still reading and you care AT ALL about what i have to say congradulations you have even less of a life than me. HAHA just kidding...sort of. This blog is a way for me to get everything that pisses me off, or occasionally love off my chest. I dont have a dairy because thats for gays who are all talk no action but im pretty opinionated and no one feels like listening to me most of the time so i figure this is a pretty good way to deal with it.

Now that i have explained myself i was thinking about telling you my whole life story but thought thats dumb so i wont. Im a girl 16 and i rule the world. I hate obnoxious american girls, pervy guys and shows like 'sunset tan' where you can tell people running tv are seriously desperate for ideas. However, i do have a slight obsession with the girls next door, my amazingly hot boyfriend and shopping. I think i sound dumb and obnoxious but im not. Im english moved to LA 2 years ago and miss London like crazy bcus LA is gay most of the time. Thats basically it about me prety closed book atm. More soon bitches

xxx